Textbook Stuff
by singsongsung
Summary: CBNS. At sixteen, Blair decides it's time to lose her innocence, so she enlists the help of her three best friends.
1. One

**A/N: **Hella long author's note ahead; bear with me.

**The Background: **This takes place roughly around the time of the first episode, but there are a few major differences, one being that the Pete/Georgina thing didn't happen, and consequently Serena didn't run away. NSCB are and have always been just friends, though Nate lost his virginity when he slept with Serena, Serena lost hers to Chuck, and Chuck slept with Georgina in the sixth grade as was said on the show. They've never discussed any of that. Blair's got a crush on Nate, Nate's got one on Serena, Serena likes Chuck, and Chuck is smitten with Blair. They've all come to the unspoken agreement that their friendship as a foursome comes first, so they've never acted on those feelings. Chuck hooks up and moves on, Serena flits between week-long flings undecidedly, and Nate tends to stick with the same girl for a few months without really being invested in the relationship. Blair's always watched them from afar, and now…she's tired of it.

**The Warning: **This is basically about the sometimes comedic, sometimes angst-y, sometimes romantic destruction of Blair Waldorf's infamous purity. It is not, however, intended to corrupt _your_ innocence. I'm not normally one to right overtly sexual stuff, but I'm still toying with the later chapters and there's always the possibility that it might get a little smutty. If you're too young to be reading it, or not comfortable with it, then the "back" button is calling your name. Thanks for clicking!

**The Pairings: **Everyone is fair game at the moment, but those of you who know me know my preferences. ;)

**The Last Note: **Enjoy! Feedback is love.

**Textbook Stuff**

_there, there, baby; it's just textbook stuff_

_it's in the ABC of growing up _

_there now, darling, oh don't lose your head_

'_cause none of us were angels_

_and you know I love you, yeah_

--Imogen Heap, _Speeding Cars_

**One. **

_You see! This is what happens when girls play good little virgins on the Disney channel for too long. They repress all their sexuality and eventually it all comes out in one big explosion of…whore._

-- Trevor Boris, _Video on Trial_

It was an uneventful night as Friday nights went for the Upper East Side's most notorious foursome. Blair Waldorf was lying on her stomach on the soft, plush carpet on the floor of her room. Both of her parents were in France: her father living at his vineyard with his male model boyfriend, her mother supervising a fashion show of her latest designs in Paris. It was for that reason that she was lying on the floor, sipping champagne from a delicate crystal glass while she flipped lazily through the latest issue of _Vogue_.

She was kind of _bored_. Even in her head, the word carried disdain, undoubtedly something she'd picked up from Serena over the years. Blair didn't mind the calm, or the quiet, but to Serena those were easily equated with boredom and boredom was something Serena wouldn't stand for. She lived in a rush of energy; no time for reflection or thumbing through magazines. Blair was equal parts jealous and scornful of Serena's viewpoint.

She looked over at her three closest friends – her family, for all intents and purposes – waiting for Serena to speak up, to penetrate the calm, to protest the quiet. They were also lying on her carpet, slightly more inebriated than she was, as was often the case. Serena didn't look bored as she giggled at something while Nate nuzzled his face against the side of her neck, her cheeks pink, freckles standing out underneath her blue eyes. Blair felt the familiar flash of jealousy that Serena's existence alone was capable of providing her. Her best friend was so uninhibited, so at ease with herself and all her flaws – granted, from where Blair was sitting, those flaws were limited. Still, she couldn't really comprehend the confidence that Serena possessed, the comfortable way she cuddled into Nate's side and draped her long legs over Chuck's, the easy way she touched the boys and the coquettish quality that slipped into her smiles effortlessly.

Serena propped herself up on her elbows, hair tumbling down on her shoulders, and shot Blair the smile that was capable of making all that jealousy melt away. "You're not drunk enough, Blair Bear."

Blair smiled reluctantly, setting her magazine aside and sitting up, legs tucked underneath her. "Don't call me that, S.," she said gently. "And did you ever think that I'm just right, and you're _too_ drunk?"

She shook her mane of blonde hair stubbornly. "Not possible."

"You're bored," Chuck stated. His hand was resting on Serena's calf, but he was looking Blair up and down in that way that made her feel oddly exposed.

"Maybe a little," she admitted, looking at Nate out of the corner of her eye. He was toying with his cell phone.

"Who are you texting, Archibald?" Serena demanded, the sound of her voice alone infusing the air with a bit more excitement. She snatched the phone out of his grasp and leaned into Chuck's shoulder, holding the phone out so they could both squint down at the small screen. "Oh, your girlfriend?" Her eyes glittered mischievously.

"She's not my girlfriend," Nate huffed self-consciously, reaching over to grab the phone back, but Serena handed it over to Chuck before Nate's fingers even got close to it.

"Yeah, Nathaniel, you're right," Chuck laughed, scanning through all of Nate's latest text messages. "She's about to break up with your sorry ass."

Nate groaned. "I guess I should get over there. It's not like we're really doing anything right now."

"But we could be," Blair said quickly, wracking her mind for ideas. She quirked her eyebrows lightly, daring him to just let the break-up happen. Nate never kept a girlfriend for all that long anyway.

But then Serena reached over, handing back his phone and laying her hand on his knee. "You should go, Natie," she told him with wide, earnest blue eyes. She toyed with the hem of one of the legs of his board shorts. "Monique's a nice girl."

Completely ignoring Blair's previous words, Nate kept his gaze focused on Serena for a moment, eyes flickering down to her hand and then up to her face again. Finally, he sighed. "Yeah, I guess I should."

He stood up, slightly unsteady, and clapped Chuck on the back and said, "Later, man." He then bent down to kiss Serena's cheek, but she turned at the same moment and his lips caught hers. She giggled and his skin turned a mild shade of red as he walked over to Blair. He kissed her forehead in any entirely friendly gesture, the kind that allowed absolutely no possibility of a real kiss. He waved at them all and ambled out in his usual careless way.

Blair sighed, watching him go, and turned back to her remaining friends. Serena's body was curled up against Chuck's, her chin perched on his shoulder, her eyes raking over his face in a way very similar to how Blair tended to look at Nate.

"Do you think Pasha's still in town?" Serena asked, a challenge stowed away in her lazy words. She didn't take her eyes off of Chuck's as she drawled out the name of her latest boy toy – he was Russian, Blair was fairly certain, with sweetly rumpled blonde hair and an uncertain grin.

Chuck laughed in the same lazy, unbothered way. "For you? Of course. That boy will be here until you get tired of him. He'd marry you, S." He smirked. "And not just for the green card."

Serena laughed, clearly pleased by his words, as Chuck got up and offered her both hands so that she could get to her feet as well. Serena bent down to kiss Blair's forehead the same way Nate had, steadying herself with hands on Blair's shoulders.

"Breakfast tomorrow, B.?" she asked sweetly.

Miffed at being abandoned so flippantly, Blair arched her eyebrows. "What, you won't be busy with _Pasha_?" She had expected Serena to come up with something more entertaining more them to do; she hadn't realized that meant her friends would be leaving her to find that entertainment in others. It was an irritating turn of events that seemed to keep happening lately.

Serena nodded contemplatively, her expression serious. "Lunch, then?" she inquired, so optimistically that Blair couldn't help her smile.

"Okay, lunch," Blair agreed lightly. "Be careful tonight?" She posed it as a request, trying to hold Serena's gaze.

The blonde winked at her as Chuck steadied her by grasping an elbow. "Careful isn't any fun." She kissed Chuck's cheek and whirled away.

Sighing, Blair pushed back her worry and glanced up at Chuck. "And where are _you_ going?" she asked, assuming that he'd be leaving as well.

He shrugged. "I could stay here with you."

For a moment she considered it, because she _was_ bored, and it would be nice to have company, nice to have someone choose to be with her…

But then he leered, "I mean, we're already in your bedroom…"

She wrinkled her noise and extended her arm, pointing regally toward the doorway. "Goodbye," she said simply.

Chuckling, he moved toward the door. "Suit yourself. I'm in the mood for something…exotic…tonight, anyway."

To her surprise, he paused at her side, dropping a kiss on the crown of her head that felt strangely intimate and running his fingers lightly through her hair, his hand lingering on her shoulder before he walked off. It all happened so quickly, so _sweetly_, that she didn't even have a chance to be disgusted with him.

"Bye, Waldorf," he said without turning around, an annoyingly knowing note in his voice.

Blinking in surprise, she ran her fingers through her hair as if testing to see if it had somehow been changed by his touch. She got to her feet, tossing _Vogue_ aside and perching on the edge of her bed. Gulping down most of her champagne, she scowled at the floor. This was her Friday night, really? Champagne and a magazine at home? Boredom? Nate was with his girlfriend, Serena was with the latest boy who'd fallen head-over-heels in love with her, and Chuck was doing something she probably didn't want to know about. But they were all _with_ people, they were all having fun, they were having the kind of exciting nights that Blair deserved to have, too.

It wasn't her fault that she was the only one with any _morals_. She was saving herself for Nate, whenever he came to his senses and realized that he would be _lucky_ to get a girl like Blair Waldorf. She was doing the right thing, this waiting.

But waiting was _boring_ and tiring and disappointing. Waiting meant that she got left behind at the end of the night when her friends all paired off – or tripled off or quadrupled off, or whatever it was that Chuck did – with whomever they were with. Waiting meant coming home to an airy, empty house and cold sheets in her bed and the company of Audrey Hepburn movies. Waiting meant dreaming of romance but never having it. Tonight, waiting meant inviting her friends over and having them realize how very boring she was and consequently watching them abandon her one by one for better things.

It was starting to get the better of her. She used to feel superior, wise and mature, when they traipsed off to their debauchery. But these were supposed to be the best years of her _life_, and all she had so far was a reputation as a prude, a relatively powerful hold over the girls at school in the form of fear, and a whole lot of loneliness.

Even though she was sitting down, she stomped her foot against the floor. It was unacceptable, really. She was _Blair Waldorf_. She had the best clothes and the best grades and she ruled her entire school. People admired her, people ached to be her because they thought she had a life worthy of that admiration. She was witty. She was rich. She'd just lost two pounds. There was no better time than now to stop waiting. She had never been so desirable or so confident.

Nodding to herself, she drained the rest of the champagne from her glass and stood up, heading into the bathroom to get ready for bed, to slip on her comfiest silk pyjamas. This would be her last night of calorie-free mineral water and Audrey Hepburn, so she may as well start enjoying it early.

---

The next day at noon Blair sat at a table at Fred's in Barney's, impatiently waiting for Serena to show up. Her friend was, as per usual, late.

"Hey, B!" Serena called across the restaurant when she arrived, grabbing everyone's attention as she rushed over in a whirl of yellow and blue. She dropped her purse and fell into her chair, lightly pulling the menu out of Blair's hand. "Sorry I'm late," she said, flashing a smile up at her friend before her eyes started flickering over the options.

Blair folded her hands on the table in front of her. "It's okay. How's Pasha?"

Serena shrugged blithely. "I'm _starving_. I think I want waffles. Do they have waffles?" She asked, as though they hadn't eaten there a million times before, and glanced back up. "How was your night, B.?"

Blair shook her head fondly, toying with the bracelet around her thin wrist. "Good. I thought about some stuff."

The waitress appeared to take their orders at that moment, and Serena waited until she left again to ask: "What stuff?" She was clearly intrigued. Blair was usually all thought and Serena all action, so they absorbed each other's information hungrily, a perfectly mastered symbiotic relationship.

She considered it for a moment and then decided it would be best to tell all three of her friends at once. Besides, she was still working through her plan, figuring it out. "Are you busy tonight?"

Serena looked her over, a smile spreading on her face, sensing that Blair had something good in the works. "I am now, aren't I?"

Blair smiled back and nodded. "Midnight. My house."

"Midnight?" Serena arched an eyebrow, looking mildly amused. "That late?" She laughed at herself then, because Serena didn't really have a definition of _late_, but it was weird for Blair.

"I want you guys to help me with something," Blair told her vaguely.

It was clear from Serena's affectionate expression that she thought Blair was doing that thing where she tried to make her life as much like a movie as possible, but Serena was game for nearly anything, and she always indulged Blair because that's what best friends do, so she simply shrugged and dug in to her Belgian waffles when they arrived. "Okay, B. Sounds good. Are the boys coming?"

Blair pressed her lips together to keep herself from smirking as she poked at her garden salad with her fork, searching for a piece of lettuce that wasn't drenched in dressing. "Yeah. They're kind of…necessary."

"_Necessary_?" Serena asked with her mouth full. She swallowed, speared a raspberry with her fork, and fed it to Blair across the table. Her navy blue eyes were dancing at the prospect of mischief. "Careful, B.," she warned, her voice low and a little bit naughty as she rested one of the tines of the fork against her lips. "You're starting to sound like me."

Biting the corner of her lower lip, Blair shrugged one of her shoulders, feeling a thrill at the thought of what was to come. Her reply was lazy, even and unconcerned: "That's the idea."


	2. Two

**A/N: **Thank you for your feedback! =) I know some of you are little curious or wary about the pairings, but hang in there. There's going to be a little bit of everything, and I think the majority of you will be pleased with the final outcome. One note – I have to defend myself. I'm not a Miley Cyrus fan, at all, but the first line of this song _screams_ of Blair. Never would have used it otherwise. And now that I've clarified my music tastes, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

**Two.**

_Uh-oh; there you go again: talking cinematic._

-- Miley Cyrus, _If We Were a Movie_

Nate was the first to show up, like he usually was. Though constantly stoned, he had this puppy-dog quality about him that made him strangely obedient, probably due to his mellow attitude toward the pressures his parents put on him and his future. Blair wouldn't have been able to be angry with him even if he were late, his face was much too perfect to allow it, but she kind of liked the subtle way he seemed to value her opinion, so she let things stands as they were.

He shot her a sweet smile when he saw that she was waiting by the elevator, clicking his heels together playfully and standing at attention before dropping into an exaggerated bow. "At your service, m'lady."

She bit her lip to hold back her smile. "Thanks, Nathaniel. Were you with Monique?"

He shook his head, making a carelessly disgruntled face as the elevator doors opened once more. "We broke up."

Blair rolled her eyes; this piece of news was unsurprising, since he broke up with his girlfriends every couple weeks, but entirely welcome. "Sorry, Nate," she offered half-heartedly, the majority of her attention having been captured by Serena, who was clearly in a huff as she stormed out of the elevator. "What happened, sweetie?"

Serena's skirt was twisted around her hips, her long blonde hair tangled. Her shoes were dangling from her fingertips by their straps and her shirt was only partially buttoned over her camisole, one of the sleeves falling down her arm, revealing the sun-freckled skin of her shoulder. Nate was looking at her like she was everything he'd ever been dreaming of, clearly over his girlfriend of ten minutes ago, but Serena was looking solely at Blair as she tugged her sleeve back up – much to Nate's disappointment.

"Pasha told me he wanted to be exclusive," she murmured, and Blair could tell just by looking at her that she probably already had a couple martinis in her. Serena could be so good to her, maternal and perpetually tolerant, but she could also be irritably flighty and irresponsible and entirely self-destructive.

The brunette cleared her throat, making a sympathetic humming sound, an instinct conditioned into her by years of dealing with the blonde. "So what did you do?"

"I left!" she declared, throwing her arms into the air, sleeve slipping back down. "I mean, he was gorgeous, and kinda sweet, but…It was never supposed to be anything serious."

Nate made a face and refrained from commenting, but both girls knew what he was thinking. _It's never supposed to be anything serious_. While Blair valued commitment and Nate went along with it, Serena abhorred it.

Blair knew Serena well enough to know that the taller girl's phobia of commitment and tendency to favour adventurous-but-meaningless relationships was the messy result of a wild spirit and a need to lash out against her mother, who wasn't there to notice anyway. She loved Serena and she felt for her friend, but Blair couldn't deny that this worked in her favour. "I'm sorry," she said softly, nudging Nate's foot with her own to make him stop staring. "So, you and Nate…you guys are both…single."

"I was never anything _but_ single," Serena argued, pressing her lips together, bright blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"Of course," Blair agreed readily, switching gears: "Do you want something to change into?"

Shaking her head, Serena brushed past Blair, heading for the kitchen. "I need something to drink."

Nate stared after her with wide eyes. "I'm gonna go…help," he muttered, chasing after her.

Blair was about to protest when the doors of the elevator opened again. Chuck ambled in wearing a ridiculous pair of red pants and a tan-coloured blazer. "You're late," she bit out at him, planting her hands on her hips.

"Only in this time zone," he replied smoothly. His eyes skimmed down her body – she was wearing the shortest dress she owned for the occasion, though it was still pretty modest, the sleeves long and the neckline hitting her collarbone. "You look beautiful this evening."

"Technically," Nate's voice chimed in. "It's morning." He and Serena were coming out of the kitchen; Nate was carrying a bottle of wine and four glasses, and Serena had shed her shirt and shoes entirely, now dressed only in her skirt and camisole, looking predictably stunning.

Blair felt an unexpected flash of irritation as Chuck's eyes flew to Serena. "Thanks for that, Nathaniel," he said without looking at the other boy. Simply, to Serena, he commented: "You look ravishing." A devilish smirk sprang to his lips. "Or should I say…_ravished_?"

A smile jumped to Serena's lips in the same way. She seemed to have been calmed down by whatever Nate said to her in the kitchen and her sunny, relaxed demeanour was quickly returning. "Jealous?" she asked, blinking at him innocently. "Turned on?"

Chuck looked, quite honestly, like he was a little bit of both, so Blair intervened before he could say so. "Let's go upstairs. To my bedroom."

"I like where this is leading, Waldorf," Chuck murmured as he followed her toward her room, Nate and Serena close behind.

"Sit," she said, ignoring him and waving them all toward her bed, which seemed like a fitting place to gather considering what she was about to say. Obediently, they perched on the edge, Serena in between the two boys. Nate handed out glasses and filled them up. Most of the time they followed her orders, sometimes completing a task before she could even ask for it to be done, and it struck her at that moment how odd it was that she about to ask _them_ to instruct _her._

Blair accepted her wine, took a gulp, and studied her three friends. She waited until they all raised their glasses to their lips before she got the courage to state: "I want to have sex."

Belatedly, as she watched their reactions, she realized that she should have waited for them to swallow. Her nervousness was making her thoughtless in a way she, the girl of many plans, had never been before. Nate spit out his wine, spraying it all over her carpet and making her squeal. Serena choked, coughing hard. Chuck spluttered, grabbing a handkerchief out of his pocket with remarkable speed and pressing it to his lips until he got himself under control.

"You want to _what_?" he asked her hoarsely, his eyes wide, as Nate rubbed Serena's back.

She narrowed her eyes. "You heard me."

"Blair," Serena gasped out. "I don't – you can't – what –" She shook her head, clearly at a loss for words, eyelashes fluttering.

"So you…you want to have sex," Nate repeated uncertainly, discomfort clear in his expression. "Why would you…tell _us_?"

"Because I want you to help me. I want to do it right."

"You…" Nate blinked rapidly. "You want us to…set you up?" he asked, a note of hope in his voice. He knew her well enough to know it wouldn't be that simple, but it was kind of cute, the way he tried anyway.

Chuck looked like he wanted to say something, but Serena beat him to it. "B.," she said gently, "That's not how it _works_. You don't _plan_ this. You don't decide that you want to have sex, pick the guy and the place and the day, and have it work out like some perfect scene from some perfect movie. You…you get in a relationship, and you fall in love, and you let it happen…spontaneously."

"That's not how it happened for any of you," Blair argued, and they all lowered their eyes. "It wasn't with someone you loved, it was _too _spontaneous. And I don't think it works that perfect way for most people. I don't want my first time to be with some meaningless stranger, like it was for all of you."

"Stranger…" Chuck muttered.

"…right," Nate finished for him in the same tone of voice.

Between them, Serena stayed perfectly still, her gaze fixed on the floor.

Taking advantage of their quiet, Blair gathered up all the confidence she could, tilting her chin upward and declaring softly, "And when I…do it…I want it to be Nate."

Nate stared at her with wide eyes as both Serena and Chuck turned to look at him, their expressions polar opposites but equally unreadable.

"Me?" he squeaked out.

"You," Blair nodded, licking her dry lips, forcing herself to keep her eyes locked with his.

"Out of the two of us…" Chuck said slowly, looking oh-so-slightly amused, "You want _Nate_?"

"Thanks, man," the other boy said sarcastically, but without any bite.

"You're slimy and disgusting," Blair told Chuck primly, her lips curling.

He smirked. "Says the girl who wants to just get it over with."

"I _don't_," she shot back, insulted. "I just…I want to do it right."

"No one's going to grade you on sex," Chuck began, but Serena spoke over him.

"Blair, honey," she said softly. "I thought you wanted it to be special. Isn't that what doing it right really means?"

She gnawed on her lower lip, looking solely at Serena for a minute. "I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being the prude."

Serena's blue eyes were full of a disarming combination of sympathy and concern. "Sweetie, you realize…you're going to have to see, um…Nate, naked. And he's going to see you naked. And you're not …" She blew out her breath, looking as though she couldn't find the right words. "You're not just going to have to touch him, he's going to touch you. B., you…you can't control everything about sex."

"But I can control _almost_ everything," Blair retaliated, feeling mildly light-headed. "At least I _know_ Nate, at least I trust him, at least –"

"And you don't trust me?" Chuck interjected.

Before she could ever consider a reply, Nate spoke up: "Um, thank you for that, Blair. I'm…honoured, I guess. But I think I missed the part where I _agreed_ to this."

She looked at him through her eyelashes, suddenly nervous. "I trust you…all of you," she admitted. "And I _need_ you." It's a magic word between the four of them, four letters never denied. She wouldn't use it if she weren't serious and they all know that.

"All of us?" Serena asked faintly. "I can understand why you'd need Nate, but why are Chuck and I here? Why are you even telling us this?"

"Because…because _he_ knows _everything_," she finally said, a bit sourly, directing her gaze to Chuck's undecipherable smirk. "And they know what they want, S., but you know…how to make it happen."

All of them stared at her for a moment, breathing deeply. Serena exhaled and slowly said, "Blair…you're my best friend." Her bare knee hit Chuck's through the cloth of his red pants and his hand flew over, fingers delicately cupping her kneecap, like they were having some sort of silent, physical conversation. Serena's eyes were shimmering. "I'd do anything for you, B.," she concluded softly, leaving unsaid the insinuation that Blair would do the same for her, though their zones of discomfort were vastly different.

"And I would consider myself privileged to play any role in your deflowering," Chuck added, looking at her with smouldering eyes and pulling the attention from Serena. Then he cracked a smile: "It sounds like you're proposing an orgy, anyway."

Blair rolled her eyes but let his words go as she smiled, glad that they were both on board. She turned hesitantly to look at Nate, waiting for his response.

He shrugged, flashing his megawatt smile for a moment. "I should be so lucky, right?"

Her whole body relaxed, tension slipping away, and she nodded shyly at him. "Right," she whispered. For such a long time she'd believed the same thing, but hearing him say it out loud made her weirdly uneasy. She chalked it up to nervousness and took another drink.

Uncomfortable silence descended over them for a moment. Serena was very pointedly not looking at either of the boys, nor was she speaking up to diffuse the tension as she normally would. Blair couldn't bring herself to look at the boys either – which was stupid, if she was going to sleep with one of them – but instead wrapped her arms around her body self-consciously and rocked back and forth from her heels to the balls of her feet.

"So," Chuck said finally, his voice calm and cool. "Do you just want to do it now?"

Blair felt the blood drain from her face as Nate rolled his eyes and Serena elbowed Chuck sharply.

"Jesus, S.," he hissed, rubbing his ribcage and wincing.

"She wants to do it _right_, Chuck," Serena told him tensely, gesturing wildly to Blair but looking solely at the boy she sat next to. "And that means there are _steps_. She and Nate aren't just going to throw down on the carpet right now."

Nate blinked rapidly, but said nothing.

"Didn't know you were such a good _teacher_," Chuck responded sarcastically, elbowing Serena back, but far more lightly. "Where do _you_ suggest we start, then?"

Blair and Nate both turned to her instantly, awaiting directions. Blair watched as Serena rolled her eyes and stood up between the boys, arms akimbo as she surveyed her friends' expressions. "Nobody is having sex tonight," she declared firmly.

Chuck's gaze left her face, raking down her body and making its way up again slowly, his eyes meeting hers once again as a pointed smirk curled his lips.

Serena huffed impatiently. "Okay, nobody is having sex from this point _on_ this evening," she amended, throwing Blair a comforting look.

Chuck continued staring at her wordlessly, his smirk reaching his eyes.

If Blair hadn't known Serena for the majority of her sixteen years of life, she would have dismissed the spots of pink high on the blonde's cheek bones as the result of intoxication, but she knew Serena well enough to know that she was blushing under the pressure of Chuck's gaze and everything it meant. In her peripheral vision, she saw Nate clench his jaw.

"_Fine_," Serena said, a playful note in her voice this time. "_Blair_ is not having sex tonight. Happy?"

And in an instant, Chuck's gaze, the exact same one, was focused on Blair. "Far from it," he murmured.

"So what's the first…step?" Nate inquired, glancing up at Serena, still with that gleam of admiration in his eyes.

"Um." Serena paused, biting the corner of her lip before settling her eyes on Blair. "Talking," she said decisively.

Nate and Chuck exchanged an easily readable look behind Serena's back, one that clearly said _that is such a _girl_ thing to say_. Blair giggled, feeling herself relax slightly, to fall into the predictability of their friendship as a foursome.

"I've never known you to be so…_tame_, Serena," Chuck commented.

The blonde kept her gaze focused on her best friend, hands still planted on her hand. "B., say penis," she dared, like they were ten years old and at a sleepover.

"What?!" Blair balked, hating the way she could feel the slightest bit of heat in her cheeks. It was what Serena expected, she knew. "No. Why?"

"Say cl –" Serena sent Chuck a venomous glare before he even got through the first syllable of his word, and Blair's cheeks burned even more. She lifted her wine glass to her face, pressing it lightly against her skin in an effort to cool down.

"Say…orgasm?" Nate offered optimistically, trying to help her out.

"_Why?_" Blair repeated more firmly, her teeth digging into her lower lip.

"You're not ready," Chuck said lowly as he eyed her bright pink cheeks. "Waldorf –"

"I _am_," she insisted hotly. They'd always been so good at challenging one another, and this was no exception.

"B.," Serena sighed, "if you can't talk about it, you can't do it."

Blair narrowed her eyes, scrunches up her nose. "Bullshit," she called. "Don't you dare get all high-and-mighty on me, like you're _so_ experienced, Serena. And don't you dare get hypocritical. Since when have you preferred talking to doing?"

Serena stayed impressively calm; she didn't flinch, didn't move a muscle. "This isn't about _me_, Blair, it's about _you_. And you always talk first."

"So what do you propose we _do_?" Blair asked tightly, unable to contradict that statement.

"Sex flashcards?" Nate suggested with that boyish grin of his, trying to break their staring contest and make them laugh by making a jibe at Blair's well-know SAT studying method.

Serena's eyes lit up as she glanced down at him, their smiles matching, lightly mischievous in the same way.

"Oh, _no_," Blair said vehemently.

Her best friend nodded, reaching out to take her hand and pulling her out of the room. "Oh yes," she chirped brightly.

And Blair followed her, as she so often did, thinking bitterly that she might have asked for this.

---

"I really don't see how writing words on various shades and shapes of construction paper cut-outs is going to be of any help to Blair," Chuck grumbled from his end of the table, giving both Nate and Serena looks that could kill.

"They're all triangles. It's symbolic of libido in doodling," Serena supplied.

He made an incredulous face, barely suppressing a smirk. "Of course _you_ would know that."

"Look who's talking, Mr. _I'm Chuck Bass_."

"That line has never failed me, sweetheart." He stopped writing for a moment and pointed his marker toward her. "But you know that, too. None of that's the point," he breezed on before Blair could open her mouth to question the meaning of those words. "The point is that this is wasting time. We should just buy her the _Kama Sutra_ and be done with it."

"Chuck. Blair asked for our _help_. If she wanted this to be impersonal, she could have bought a goddamn book herself."

"Plus this is way more fun," Nate contributed, clearly enjoying how annoyed his best friend was, winking at Serena across the expanse of Waldorf dining room table, which was covered in art supplies, as if they were working on an elementary school project or something.

Blair looked down at the collection of multi-coloured triangles sitting on the table in front of her, each of which had been inscribed with every 'technical' sexual term her three best friends had managed to brainstorm up, followed by several 'euphemisms' for each and an explanation, if necessary. There was finally silence in her house, save for the squeaking of Nate's marker and the clashing of the scissors as Chuck cut paper aggressively. She glanced up for the first time in a while, noting the break in Chuck and Serena's argument – sometimes they bantered like lovers caught in a quarrel, while other times their squabbling bore the mark of a more sibling-like relationship – she took the opportunity to speak. "So, what am I supposed to do with these, exactly?"

Serena shrugged one shoulder, placing another 'flashcard' atop of Blair's pile, one that made her stomach drop. _Ew_, she mouthed, grimacing as primly as one could grimace, but the blonde didn't notice. "Get comfortable with them?" she offered.

"_All_ of them?"

Serena giggled, shooting her a smile, her eyes darting down to the card atop the pile. "You're not going to have to…_partake_ in all of them, B."

"Exactly," Chuck cut in. "She asked for help with sex, not her sexual _vocabulary_. This is pointless. And it's like effing arts and crafts time."

Blair bit the inside of her lower lip, trying to hold back her smile. Sitting across the long table from her, gesturing dramatically with a glue-stick in one hand, Chuck looked surprisingly endearing.

"Do you guys even remember the last time we did this?" Serena leaned back in her chair, stretching out her arms. "We must have been about eight years old."

"Chuck had a science fair project," Blair replied softly, a reminiscent smile touching her lips. "He didn't even _start_ it in time, so we helped."

Across the table, Chuck's brown eyes collided with hers when he looked up. "_You_ helped me," he reminded her, a laugh tucked into the words. "These two were busy…" He paused, watching as Nate threw a paper plane across the table at Serena, making her giggle. Chuck's gaze locked with Blair's again. "Doing…well, _that_," he smirked. "You helped me. You did nearly the whole thing; I got an A."

She shrugged as blithely as she could, fingers tracing the corner of one of her flashcards. "I didn't mind," she told him mutedly.

"And now here we are," Nate commented jovially, "Eight years later, helping Blair with sex ed."

Blair's eyebrows flew up, perched high on her forehead as she glanced at Serena, who was scribbling a message on the inside of the paper plane. "_Chuck_ is helping me," she told Nate dryly, noticing that Chuck was the only one still cutting up paper for his flashcards. "You two are…" she trailed off, shooting Chuck another look, telling him, "You're doing nearly the whole thing."

His lips twisted upward in something more akin to a smile than a smirk as Serena refolded the paper plane and threw it back at Nate, causing him to duck. "I don't mind," he said huskily.


End file.
